Pure Technicolor

I walked into my mother's kitchen on New Years Day in 1975, the day following my first date with Connie Jane Murphy. Mom and my two younger sisters turned to watch me enter from where they were sitting around the little table . "Welcome home, honey. Did you enjoy your date?" mom asked. "I'm in love." I answered. And they burst in laughter. I grinned and pretended that I was just making a joke. But I was not. Smitten from the first, she had me at hello.

We were married a year and a half later and life has never been the same. Mom once said,"My son is a pretty serious, black and white kinda guy. Thank God Connie came into his life. She is pure technicolor." Truer words have not been spoken. An explosion of color, of personality, she is my opposite in so many ways and our marriage has been "dynamic" from the beginning. If I said zig, she said zag. If I urged caution, she was all in. She made friends quickly and easily while I tended to hang back. For instance, she once claimed to have made friends with the singer and television celebrity, Kathy Lee Gifford.

When our children were young, for a time, Connie was a stay at home mom. On this issue, we both agreed and she was a wonderful mom. But in order to temper the day to day routine of it all, she began to watch The Regis and Kathy Lee Show. And when I would get home from working at the paper mill, she would go on and on about what her friend Kathy Lee had said or done that day. She wrote her letters, joined the contests, even sent her a baby gift when her son Cody was born. I thought it was sad and encouraged her to get out of the house and spend time with real people. I began to kid her about "her good friend, Kathy Lee". And the sparks would fly!

Then one year on her birthday, while we were living in Southern Connecticut on temporary assignment, I gave Connie the gift of a night out in New York City with a girlfriend. They went to the Rainbow and Stars Room to see Kathy Lee perform live. She was so excited and returned with stories about having a conversation with Kathy Lee between sets. They had exchanged cards and Connie even had a photo taken with Kathy Lee. After that, Connie never missed a TV show. We had boxes and boxes of video tape from those days when she couldn't watch in person.

Later that year, we were transferred back to Maine, but the "friendship" continued over the next five years. Every year Connie would send a Christmas card, a card on the occasion of the birth of Kathy Lee's daughter, a special congratulations card for some honor, a condolence card for some sorrow. And then one year she received a Christmas card in return. "See... she is my friend!" she beamed. I chided her,"Connie, her assistants send out thousands of these cards. It's just good PR. She probably didn't even sign her own name." She pouted, "You kill-joy!" Still, the card and the prized picture sat prominently on the fireplace mantle for years. I would apologetically show them to visitors and make snide little comments about Connie and her "friend" Kathy Lee.

In 1995 I was on assignment as a loaned executive to then Governor Angus King chairing a commission of the future of Maine's paper industry. One initiative was to invite the Governor to attend Paper Week at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City in order to meet and greet the CEO's of the countries major paper companies. It fell upon me to coordinate the activities and, as the Governors wife also wished to attend, I asked Connie if she would come and help me make things flow smoothly. She was so great meeting and greeting and was always so helpful with the various social requirements of my job. We were a good team.

Paper Week arrived and we were fully engaged in the comings and goings of the captains of business and government. Everything was proceeding according to plan and ultimate success loomed on the horizon. But something was bothering Connie and that night she tossed and turned in bed. Finally at 4:00AM I turned on the light. "What is wrong?" I asked bleary eyed. She sat up and said "I want to go to the Regis and Kathy Lee Show tomorrow morning". But you don't have tickets I objected. She was insistent. "If I don't go tomorrow I won't have another chance. And maybe I'll never be back in New York to go to another show. I wrote Kathy Lee a letter and told her I would be in the City this week and asked her if she would send me tickets. She never called me or wrote me back. But this is my only chance and I want to try. Will you help me?"

I felt so bad that she had not received contact from her "friend" . It was what I had feared, that my wonderful wife would be disappointed by self important people. "Of course I will help you honey. Let's get up now and go over to the studio. Sometimes people who get there early and stand in line get lucky and get a seat." We quickly dressed and grabbed a cab across town. The sun was just coming up as we bought Starbucks Coffee and she joined the already forming line for the morning show.

" I have to go back to the Waldorf now, honey. The Governor has appointments this morning that I need to make happen. Have you got your cab fare to get back?" She smiled and assured me she would be alright whether she got into the show or not and kissed me goodbye. As I rode back to the hotel, I felt hot feelings of anger that Connie would be disappointed. It just wasn't right.

I dashed back to our room, ripped off my clothes and jumped in the showed. There was just enough time to get ready for another busy day. I had lathered up a full head of shampoo when the house phone rang. I slipped and slid my way to the bathroom phone, soap in my eyes, dripping wet. Maybe it was the President of my mill... or the Governor's assistant. "Hello"? I gurgled.

The voice was female. "Hello, is Connie there?" she asked. I was confused. "No she's not. Who is this please?", I asked.

"Yes. Is this Glen? This is Kathy Lee Gifford and I'd like to get in touch with Connie." the voice said. I was speechless. "Hello? Are you still there? Can you tell me where Connie is?" she prodded.

"Yes... yes, Kathy Lee. Connie is standing in line outside your studio hoping to get into today's show." I blurted.

"Oh Good! That's perfect. Thank you." and she hung up.

As I stood there, naked and wet with soap in my eyes, I realized how wrong I had been all these years. Kathy Lee and Connie were friends. And I was a fool to have doubted my amazing wife's ability to have made her a friend.

The rest of the story is that Kathy Lee sent her assistant to pluck Connie from the line and escort her to the VIP lounge and then to the first seat in the front row in the studio. Between sets, Kathy Lee gave Connie a big hug and introduced her to Regis and after the show took her back to her dressing room to visit. Before she left, she gave Connie her private number so that in the future she could call directly for tickets and she signed an autograph. It said " To my good friend Connie, Much Love, Kathy Lee."

At home I secretly compared the signature of the autograph with the signature on the Christmas card. They were identical.

After almost 36 years, I am still so very much in love with my beautiful wife. I continue to learn to trust and rely on her technicolor skills. She is more passionate and exuberant about life with each passing year. And we are still a great team. The Ying and the Yang. I structure her. She softens me. 

Smitten from the first...